Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
