i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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