What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
