Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
