The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize