omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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