he shaved USA in his pubs
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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