i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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