so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
