Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize