Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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