he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
did you just send me my own nude
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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