my mouth tastes like poor choices
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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