in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
do herpes really smell.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
