There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
