In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize