you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
