he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
