how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
