I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
did i walk over a car last night?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
