Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
