You really coming over, don't trick.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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