oh god the rape fog is back!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
