He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well I just put wine in my tea
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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