i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
