his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
