That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize