Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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