Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I need to sanitize my soul.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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