Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
