You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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