It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
