He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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