I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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