I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my shit smells like andre
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
