Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
