wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
All I want is dick and wine.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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