I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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