I accidentally had phone sex last night
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
