But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why is your signature on my underwear?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
