I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
