i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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