they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Drunk is a universal language darling
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
