I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
