We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
