So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
