It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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