how do flat chested girls get laid?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
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