we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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