I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
