Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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