So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
