It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
this will be a night to untag.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize