I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
