I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
