and you said cock pushups were impossible
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
