Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
