My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
