I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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