you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
