I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
