How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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