I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
