you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
